Thinking About The Future
As I sit here trying to compose my thoughts into some semblance of sense, I am distracted by thoughts about the future. A future with a new senator who could possibly change the whole political landscape with his vote. A future where traveling by plane means wondering if the person next to me is wearing a bomb in his underwear. A future where nothing is quite certain and it's hard to plan for anything because it can all change in an instant.
These are just some of the things that concern me this morning. So what do I do about it? What I always do - write. Whenever I feel troubled by something, I write and once I get the words on paper, the fear is somewhat lessened. In light of what I've already written here today, it might surprise you that these are not the things that I'm most concerned about right now. No, there are things that concern me even more that I need to write about to lessen the sting of fear.
One is about my sister, who suffers from Crohn's Disease. In the last few years, she has broken her left left leg three times, the last time while it was still in the cast from the second break. On New Year's Eve, she fell again and broke the right leg - a corkscrew break, which is worse than when she broke the other one in three places. During this time, she has also broken a finger - just by opening a cabinet door. Recently, she went for a bone density test and they discovered an issue with her right hip. She goes in for more testing on it tomorrow. We are all concerned about what this means. What if it is osteoporosis? She can't even absorb the medicine for her Crohn's, so how could she absorb it for osteoporosis?
The other thing that really concerns me right now is the ongoing health issues of my younger daughter. Last summer, it was discovered that her spine was literally curving into her right shoulder - like train tracks that were re-routed around a land mass - and that she would need surgery to correct it. But she had issues with her teeth that had to be dealt with first that could be a threat to the surgery(the infection in her gums could be disastrous to her spine once the rods are put in). Those issues were finally cleared up last Thursday and she got the go-ahead from her dentist; she is now healthy enough, orally, for the surgery. So Monday, we go in for a consultation with the doctor before we schedule the surgery.
As you might have guessed, these two things have made me crazy with worry and that is why I decided that it was time to write them out. I needed to take the sting out of the fear. I needed to take the power back so the fear and the worry couldn't hurt me any longer. I guess I am just the type of person who needs to confront things head-on. I would rather know than not know because you can do more with knowledge than mere speculation. And herein lies the power of words. Just by writing them down, they can put things into perspective, release tension and replace it with hope.
My hope today is that all of you who read this will take it to heart by giving your sibling or parent a call and tell them that you were just thinking about them, or give your child a big hug and let them know how much you love them. Don't waste the opportunity to let the people in your life know how you feel about them. You never know what could happen to them. Eight years ago, my sister didn't have Crohn's, I didn't have Multiple Sclerosis, and my daughter didn't need surgery. Think of the future and what it would be like if you didn't take every opportunity you could to tell them you love them before they're not there anymore - before you're not there anymore. I know I would hate it if the legacy I left for my children was that I didn't tell them enough, or show them enough, how I feel about them.
Okay, that's the end of my little rant today. Thanks for bearing with me.