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Monday, October 17, 2011

Mystic Monday

Returning to the World

As some of you may know, I've had a long hard road this past year dealing with migraines that just wouldn't go away and conventional meds - including my 100mg Imitrex - didn't even touch the pain. It wreaked havoc on my ability to read and decimated my ability to actually write anything down. In fact, I spent an awful lot of time offline because the pain had been too much to deal with and when I was online, I just didn't have the metal faculties to think or remember anything. 

Then, depression set in. That really made things even harder to deal with. Besides the headaches that just wouldn't go away - caffeine didn't help matters either - I still had to deal with muscle pain and chronic fatigue. I just never felt like I could get enough sleep. In fact, that's what I did a lot...sleep...then there were the bouts of insomnia too. To make matters worse, the arthritis in my joints and spine was so bad that on more than one occasion I was tempted to get one of those red walkers from Walgreens that has the basket on it that can also double as a chair...

...and I'm not even 40 yet...

...hell, I'm not even 39 yet!!!! 

It just seemed like my life was slipping away and fighting didn't seem to matter. Then things got even worse. My head felt like it was going to explode and I couldn't even keep water down. I went to the closest urgent care, but they were too concerned with high my blood pressure to do anything (um yeah, extreme pain like this is going to push it to extraordinary heights, duh!) and told me to go to this newly built urgent care/ER facility.

While I won't be going back to that first urgent care facility, I can honestly say that going to that new facility made changed things. 

The people at the urgent care were smart enough to realize that the pain was the problem (not the blood pressure) and that my bp would return to normal once the pain was neutralized. 

The painkiller they gave me neutralized the headache pain along with a few other things! Whatever it was, it worked wonders. I've been dealing with bad pain in my lower back for years now - 10, I think. Scans and MRI's never showed anything out of the ordinary, and there were no signs that I might have a blockage anywhere in my digestive tract, so I was completely surprised when I discovered that the majority of my back pain was actually curable, even though I thought it was a permanent condition. 

Basically, the anti-inflammatory they gave me intravenously (along with saline) caused the blockage to be shifted out and was eventually passed (long and painful story). The blockage was the true cause for the worst of the pain I felt in my lower back. While I still have some pain from the bone spurs that can make standing in one spot and sitting upright for extended periods problematic, I have experienced a strong reduction in pain. It's so nice to be able to do those pesky things like walk, wash dishes, do laundry and a myriad of other every day things in life many of us tend to take for granted, without feeling overwhelming pain.  

I'm not without some pain, but I'm no longer as debilitated as I once was. Now I can wash an entire load of dishes at the sink in about 10 minutes or so with little to no discomfort where before it would take me 30 minutes minimum to wash half as many dishes because I had to stop and rest every five minutes or so because it hurt so much to stand and my body just couldn't stand up against the pain. 

I'm beginning to take my life back. Because I've been in such extreme pain for the past year and muscular pain from the previous years, things around our house went undone. The place has been a mess, closets remained unfinished for years because I just didn't have the physical strength or ability to deal with the debilitating pain. All that is changing now. After the Packers game (I won't gloat, even though they are 6-0!), my husband and I finally managed to make a huge dent in cleaning out/organizing our garage and move the exercise bike and weight bench in from the garage into the recently finished off exercise room. 

It feels good to have finally made such progress...almost as good as it does to be able to lift things - anything - again without feeling extreme pain and my spine's overwhelming desire to just crumple to the floor. Yeah, that's about how I felt every day for years. I still don't know where I found the strength to stay upright let alone mobile for all those years when all my body wanted to do was crumble to the floor. 
I'm loving this new found condition. I feel like I'm waking up after having been asleep for a long time. For the first time in many years, I feel good after exercising. I know winter isn't even here yet, but I'm excited for spring and the prospect of being able to ride a bike again, and I'm eager to start my weight training program. 

I'm hoping this is just the jump start I needed to finish all the undone projects around the house. There are so many, and I've realized that it's these undone projects that have been interfering with my creativity, stifling it. 

Changes are happening. I'm excited about them and eager for what I might find lurking in the crevices of my brain! I'm also looking to jump back into offering author interviews and more book reviews! :D

2 Moonbeams (comments):

Molly Daniels said...

Oh Carrie, I'm sooooooooooo happy for you! Praise God for sending that new facility into your life; people who took the time to LISTEN to you.

And thank god for modern medicine!!! Now if they can just cure your migraines....

Carrie said...

Interestingly enough, the migraines have dulled to a low ache... As long as my sinuses stay clear, I think I'll be okay.